If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
