I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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