i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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