I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
