I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize