it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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