C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have already put on my inside pants.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
