See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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