I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize