I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
