Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
