Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize