please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
