I accidentally burped into my bong.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
