I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
