i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
