No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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