Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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