her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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