There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Operation Purity has been aborted
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
