before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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