I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize