Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
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he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
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Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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