Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Alive.
So much puke
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize