Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize