The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
