Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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