Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
