so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
