So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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