I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize