Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
