he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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