What a fucking waste of an outfit
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
