My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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