and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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