I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
