Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
