i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize