I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
