Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
