Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
