I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
