Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
