Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
