fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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