were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Green mimosas i think yes
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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