I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
