But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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