she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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