life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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