'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
