There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
your room smells of hookers.
And success
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
