It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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