Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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