what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize