Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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