I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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