Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
