On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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